Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
