from now on my penis is your penis
you traded sex for a burrito?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
