my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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