i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
