Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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