Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
