Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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