HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You made out with two different species that night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I currently don't understand fingers.
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