Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
