if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
