Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
