I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
