I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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