How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
