instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
