So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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