Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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