hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
