every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
