hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
