Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
