is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
