We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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