wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
