Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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