My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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