i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
