Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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