Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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