i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
