You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
