I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
