i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
