He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
