pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
