He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
