I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
