Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
