using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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