Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
