After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
