it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
