it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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