Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
