Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
