the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
