Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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