Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
