Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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