i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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